bad touch

A boy is dressed in a jockstrap. He takes the hotel elevator from his room to the crowded leather event taking place in the lobby. In the elevator he is touched by a troll. The boy says 'no'. He is touched a second time by the troll.

This was based on a real event that happened to somebody I know. I was not the boy or the troll.
Everybody agrees that the second touch is deeply wrong.

I generally do not gag boys. I don't use complicated safewords. I listen for words in plain english telling me about ongoing or upcoming problems. Informed consent may be withdrawn. And I believe that this generally protects me from making the second touch mistake.

It's the first touch that I haven't figured out.

Sexually I live in a world of implied consent. Much of my play happens in the gray area between what people have expressly consented to and expressly forbidden.

I try very hard to read the non-verbal cues that boys provide. I try to understand what a first touch mistake would look like.

But assuming implied consent creates a situation of victim blaming.
This debate hits the news every so often, including events like the slutWalk march.

Casual touching in a crowded leather event is something of a protean gesture, and can be easily misinterpreted.

I have lost sleep over the first touch of the boy in the jockstrap, but I still believe that the first touch of the boy in the jockstrap is a grey area.