one night in bankok

I was on the most recent Atlantis cruise from Singapore to Bangkok.  The boat overnighted in Bangkok.  It was great.

In many ways it exceeded my expectations.

Because of the Atlantis cruise the businesses decided to be open on a weekday evening.  A local told me that it was as busy as a high season weekend.

At the recommendation of the Atlantis staff and promotional materials, we ended up at a bar called Dream Boy.  Another nearby bar specialized in slightly more muscular boys.

Despite it being a weekday Wednesday evening the businesses were open and busy.  Every seat at the stripper bar was filled.

The stripper bar doubled as a legal brothel.  Boys on stage wore matching white underwear with plastic numbers pinned to the side. The announcer for the show was quite upfront about the pricing of the boys.  I felt no need to play with a Thai prostitute, but did enjoy the atmosphere.

The shows at Dream Boy and other bars involved full sexual penetration.  The dance numbers were choreographed and well practiced.  Some of the acts were in the style of Cirque du Soleil. The acts were better than the performances in the Hollywood movies Magic Mike and Showgirls.

In one scene a boy bent over and braced himself against a metal ladder.  The top walked up behind him and shoved his hard cock into the bottom's ass.  While the bottom stayed mostly still, the top performed a slow cartwheel in place, with his dick remaining in the bottom's ass.  Another couple of boys performed the same acts synchronized at the other side of the stage.

There was an acrobatic scene involving four rings hung from the ceiling.  The bottom reached up and grabbed two of the rings.  The bottom wrapped his ankles around the top's waist.  The top penetrated the bottom.  The top reached up and grabbed another set of rings.  The top lifted his heels up and put them on the shoulders of the bottom so that the couple was supported only by the rings.  They swung back and forth in full coitus.

There was a dance performed under black lighting with luminescent body paint.  The paint on their fronts was simple and crude.  The paint on their back was detailed and amazing.  As the boys danced the animals painted on their backs seemed to move as though alive.  The body paint was even more amazing since we had seen the same boys perform 15 minutes earlier without any body paint. 

Some of the other people on the cruise attended a different show intended for a straight audience.  That show involved ping pong balls and a vagina.  This was a favorite topic of conversation for the rest of the trip.



We went to see the sign outside of this straight club the following day.

happyfrosh outside the bar that performs the Ping-Pong ball show in Bangkok.

The clubs were a small but important part of making Bangkok a memorable experience.

straight porn

I'm gay.  I'm quite comfortable with that.  But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to learn from straight porn.

The Center for Sex Positive Culture is where many of us learn rope here in Seattle. 

At the CSPC, the man that taught me rope is quite straight.  But he learned from a gay rope top.  And has taught a number of us gays. 

Every so often I troll the straight BDSM porn sites.  I sorta think of this as an idea book.  The straights do some interesting things.

I found the use of pantyhose thought provoking, as a male masturbation sleeve.  From a sensation standpoint I think that this might work.  Also I think I should do a kidnapping scene with pantyhose over my head. 
Pantyhose over the head is a traditional outfit for aggressive activity.   We have to honor traditions.

Many of the things that seem popular make no sense to me.  There's a large emphasis on distance and teasing and denial.  Chastity devices seem to be popular in femme dom porn.  Even though chastity devices by their nature are difficult to capture in porn.

kink.com is doing some really nice straight porn.  I found some interesting things on their franchises The Training Of O and Men in Pain.

I found The Training of O to be one of the most clever.  It has some really good bondage.  They use a gimp for many of the male sexual roles.  It allows the male dom to be distant and less emotional.  But it seems like it would be non-threatening for a straight male audience.

male gimp in metal bondage in a sexual role

gimp in cage
http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoot/27780-The-Training-of-Cassandra-Nix-Day-Four.html

metal bondage and gimp
http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoot/28386-The-Training-of-an-Anal-Slut-Day-Two.html

nice bondage position.  flexible bottom.
http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoot/17962-Lesbian-5-Slave-Training-Intake-Featured-Trainer-Claire-Adams.html

gimp chained up
http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoot/27554-THe-Training-of-Cassandra-Nix-Day-Two.html

chain bodice. use of the hooded gimp
http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoot/27555-The-Training-of-Cassandra-Nix-Day-Three.html

We can learn a lot from the straights.

bondage pics from MAL

bed tie at MAL using synthetic rope, humane restraints, and handcuffs

chair tie at MAL using synthetic rope

public bondage at MAL using leather belts

Cyclomatic complexity and improvisation

I really believe in cyclomatic complexity (aka cyclometric complexity) matters outside computer science.  I believe that the more choices one makes the more likely one is to make mistakes. 

But I also like to improvise in scenes.

I work in computer science.  After a while some of the concepts start to infect the rest of your life.  I look for answers by something similar to an AStar.  I weigh probabilities by means like a beam search.  I look for patterns as a (high-dimensional) mixture of Gaussians.  Concepts from work have become the lens by which I view my life.

Cyclomatic complexity is a way to measure the complexity, so the number of possible failures, and hence the difficulty of a scenario.

A significant chunk of my career has been spent reverse engineering the abandoned work of others.  A visual guess of cyclometric complexity has come to be my proxy for the "here be dragons" of old maps. 

In the dungeon, I have a couple scenes that I do really well.  Even for a mostly improvised scene I will set out equipment as though for one of my standard scenes, and understand where I could, if necessary, rejoin a standard scene.  Even if never used, an escape hatch into a good scene is a good backup.  Branches and return to known state generally has low cyclometric complexity.

But during negotiation I listen really hard, and try to figure out what really motivates a boy. And I really try to hear how I can modify a scene to match the appropriate fetishes and triggers.  I try to figure out exciting branches from standard scenes.  But one of the things that I keep in mind is the cyclometric complexity from a well known scene. 

Planning and theory aside, I had an odd weekend. I had a scene that involved a lot of moving parts (boys). Overall the scene was pretty good, but I made a few mistakes along the way.  The weekend had a couple overreaches.  I got slightly off-plan.  I doubt the bottoms noticed or remembered. 

In retrospect I realize that part of the problem was that the cyclomatic complexity of the scene was too high for me to fully understand the dynamics.  I need to build up to that from simpler scenes.

low gear scene

The mostly straight guy was in the dungeon over at MasterZ's dungeon. Our previous play had involved a lot of gear. 

Smacker, SoundsFun and I were playing standing in the center of the room.  As play progressed we started to move towards gear.  As a counterpoint to the previous gear play I thought about a simple scene.

I got one of the bar stools and we bent him over.  With legs spread and my chest pressed down on his back, I held his wrists together with one hand while one hand was free to grope.  Restraint was provided only by muscle. 

We took turns restraining him, and played with his dick.  We decided to use MasterZ's new dildo, a clever smooth metal thing designed for prostate massage.  We pressed a massager against the dildo.  I stroked him to orgasm.

He had an intense orgasm. 

It was a great group effort.  Then we had a lovely dinner.

SoundsFun, westofhearts7, and Smacker.

 

Fun prostate massaging dildo, "Metal Worx Teaser"

 

heel stick

I was over at the home and dungeon of MasterZ.

A boy was delivered a spanking and caning.  The spanking was mostly provided with something similar to a strop.  The caning was performed using a "heel stick".  It was an intense scene.  The bottom was semi-erect and happy.

I was delighted to see the particular heel stick getting used.  It's one that I had found in the pet supply section of Cabela's Sporting Goods Store.  It's strong and flexible.  It leaves beautiful marks.

Being designed for use as a tool in the training of actual dogs is just a bonus.

A “heel stick” (center, red) turns out to make an excellent cane.

(I can't find this item on the Cabela's website.  It is available from amazon.)

bad touch

A boy is dressed in a jockstrap. He takes the hotel elevator from his room to the crowded leather event taking place in the lobby. In the elevator he is touched by a troll. The boy says 'no'. He is touched a second time by the troll.

This was based on a real event that happened to somebody I know. I was not the boy or the troll.
Everybody agrees that the second touch is deeply wrong.

I generally do not gag boys. I don't use complicated safewords. I listen for words in plain english telling me about ongoing or upcoming problems. Informed consent may be withdrawn. And I believe that this generally protects me from making the second touch mistake.

It's the first touch that I haven't figured out.

Sexually I live in a world of implied consent. Much of my play happens in the gray area between what people have expressly consented to and expressly forbidden.

I try very hard to read the non-verbal cues that boys provide. I try to understand what a first touch mistake would look like.

But assuming implied consent creates a situation of victim blaming.
This debate hits the news every so often, including events like the slutWalk march.

Casual touching in a crowded leather event is something of a protean gesture, and can be easily misinterpreted.

I have lost sleep over the first touch of the boy in the jockstrap, but I still believe that the first touch of the boy in the jockstrap is a grey area.

Wedge pillow

I sorta like shoving my dick deep down a boy's throat.  The best way seems to be the head off the side of a bed.  Feels really great.

But there wasn't a comfortable way of doing this in the dungeon.  So I thought about a firm foam pillow. 

I spent some time looking at amazon, and found something promising.  The price seemed reasonable.

Today it arrived.  I fooled around with it alone on the floor of my living room.  Tonight I tried it in the dungeon.

Head hanging off the back of the pillow, or butt in the air.
The pillow seems to be the right size and shape for many of the sorts of play that I like.

Mabis Healthcare Foam Bed Wedge 12 X 24 X 24, White

Submission at the stripper bar

Submission at the stripper bar.
I had to go to Puerto Vallarta Mexico for two nights.

I'm pretty self-sufficient, but this was the first time I've been there alone.
The city of Puerto Vallarta has been consistently fun for a dozen years of vacation.

I like stripper bars. There's beauty in seeing muscular (mostly) naked boys gyrating to the music.
But it's not interesting to me unless I'm seeing more than is freely available on the beach. Laws prohibiting full nudity make this more difficult.

Body language among the strippers made me believe that they were mostly straight. But since I wasn't planning to have sex with them that didn't really matter to me. 

I found a seat across the room from a large American in a corner with a stack of small denomination bills.

The boys knew what that large man wanted and were willing to gyrate against him, occasional pulling down the front or back of their tight fitting underwear.

It was clear that everybody knew what was going. Everybody entered these interactions with full information.

But each and every time there was a gut-check where they would force themselves into action.  It was a moment where submission would cross the face of the stripper.

I found it intoxicating. It's the same look of submission that I will often get to see once or twice during a really good scene in my dungeon.

I tip the strippers that I have enjoyed for the value that I have received.
I left the stripper bar happy, having never laid a hand on any of the strippers.

IML2012 hotel room play

I had some play at IML2012 with sparkPak.  I came across the photos in his recon profile. 

They represent a really fun night.

SparkPak was the first person to tie me up in a long time.  He had some assistance from nybcBryan (not pictured) incorperating the furniture.

Later that evening I tied up sparkPak.

 

handcuffed to the floor

I sometime use handcuffs while bringing boys to the dungeon.

I don't use handcuffs for long term bondage, because of the possibility of handcuff thumb.  But I will often use handcuffs to keep a boy busy while applying humane restraints.

I have experimented with a few different ways of keeping a boy restrained with handcuffs.  I recently tried hands behind the back.  After bringing him into the room I had him kneel down.  I locked the handcuffs to a hard point on the floor. 

I was pleased.



boy in temporary handcuff bondage while waiting for restraints to be applied

boy in temporary handcuff bondage while waiting for restraints to be applied

pervertables presentation

I was asked to do a presentation for the Seattle Men in Leather Tribal Instincts series.

But then I had to attend to family obligations in Ohio. 

I prepared the content of the presentation.  soundsFun gave the presentation in my place.

diet and exercise

I realized that I met the requirements for the weight (obesity) management program managed by my gym for my employer.  At program intake I had the lowest body fat % of any previous enrollee.

They were willing to pay for my personal trainer 3x/week if I agreed to do their diet.  Their diet is based on calorie control with a base of protein shakes.  They slowly allow food groups back into the meals one food group per week.  Their protein shakes are nutritionally equivalent to ensure.

For the past 11 weeks I have been hungry.  Over that time I have lost a little over 15lbs.  My diet ends next Tuesday. 

I look forward to food.

Here are my progress photos:

Dec 10
Dec 4
Nov 27
Nov 20
Nov 13
Nov 6
Nov 1
Oct 23
Oct 16
Oct 9
Oct 4

Mostly straight guy

I had a win on Friday.

soundsFun was on a work trip.  I found things to occupy my time.

I had over a mostly straight guy, westofhearts7.  I asked my standard questions to try to get a feel for his fetishes.  The last porn that he had watched had been straight BDSM porn, topped by a femDom. 

I don't watch much straight porn.  And I don't really know how a femDom behaves.  Most of the information that I have is hearsay and rumor.  But my sense is that the interaction between dom and sub happens at a bit more distance.

Trying to emulate this, I tried to make the scene involved both physical and emotional distance.  During chunks of the bondage I avoided eye contact.  Much of the touching was done with floggers (including my new bunny hide flogger) and with a riding crop.

I had some false starts with his nipples.  His nipples are a new and enjoyable experience for him.  Nipple clamps quickly became painful and had to be removed, but in the ensuing pain his penis went fully soft.  (I kept feeling that if I could get him to orgasm with the nipple clamps on it would be a profound almost religious experience, but I needed an additional set of hands to get the timing right.)

I ended up with him chained horizontally on the workout bench.  It was deliberately reminiscent of the position he had described in the straight BDSM scene.

I wanted to create an ending, so I got out the venus2000.  I positioned the winch hook above his body, and used it in place of a bungee cord for keeping the venus2000 in the right position on his cock.  It was surprisingly effective.  Use of the winch was much more adjustable than the bungee cords I had been using in other scenes.

In the aftermath of his powerful orgasm he told me that it was one of the most intense of his life.  I will count that as a win.

A short chunk of video is available.

The ikea chair‏

I brought an Ikea POÄNG chair to the delta run.

This seemingly simple act requires logistics. The chair is not available for Ikea delivery, so we had to roll our own.

On our way home from the Fort Steilacoom Sunday morning greyhound play group we stopped at Ikea and purchased the boxed chair. We drove this to the local UPS store and affixed UPS mailing labels directly to each of the boxed/bagged components.

The packages were waiting for me at arrival at command central.

The assembly of Ikea furniture has become a fixture in American comedy.

I decided to try to turn the assembly of the chair into a scene itself. At the swimming pool and at dinner
I solicited interest in a "team building exercise"

I got volunteers stripped naked. I added dogtra shock collars to ankles. I attached steel collars around necks. One I handcuffed behind the back. One I put in a prisoner transport hood. And I told to assemble the chair.

It was more difficult than I had expected. Like other tasks its only satisfying if it involves overcoming adversity in a quick manner.

Five or ten minutes in I realizes that I had misunderestimated the time that would be taken by the task. And it was about 20 minutes past peak enjoyment duration. But I was limited in what I could change. I took to cleaning stray construction debris and quietly correcting mistakes (like attaching the seat upside down) before they got too buried.

The chair was beautiful when completed. A lot of boys commented on having enjoyed watching the scene.

I conducted a fun cbt/spanking scene with bright white synthetic rope to the chair.

I could have made the task more enjoyable. I should have provided rewards at key checkpoints.
In retrospect I should have started with a blindfold instead of a hood. I should have chained the hands more tightly behind the back. I think that these two things would have sped up the process by ten minutes and made it more enjoyable.

It was memorable and fun.