There are examples of this across the spectrum of acceptability. Once again this boils down to the mantra "don't break the scene." Cries for attention are accepted and in many cases rewarded so long as they fall within the social norms for the instance.
My most obvious attention device is muscle. A couple years ago when I reentered the scene I made a conscious and successful effort to put on muscle. The bdsm community allows attractiveness to be substituted for skill and vice versa. Since at the time I had enthusiasm but not skill, I had to bring something else to the table. (I discovered later that among the heavier players enthusiasm is almost as important a currency.)
I will sometimes have a mohawk haircut on vacation. This is perfectly within the standard deviation (pun intended) of the people on vacation. But it's different enough to be more memorable and get a little attention.
Sometimes the attention getting device is a literal truth. The arcing terminals on a stun gun do not actually come in contact during a strike. Pain is delivered by another set of terminals that instead face forward. But arcing electricity demands attention. The arcing electricity is the emotional difference between a stun gun and a much quieter cattle prod.
While a stun gun is an aggressive demand for attention, a more assertive alternative is a simple water squirt bottle. A brief squirt and a stern tone of voice, used in moderation, asserts attention on the submissive aspects of the scene.
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This shouldn't come as a surprise. Both submission and dominance require attention. We find strategies to make this happen.
