I apologize that this post doesn't have good photos.
I'm going to ramble about something odd that happens to me sometimes. And it hit home with the combination of my and bndgkid's posts.
There is a disjoint in the narrative of events has hit me throughout my life.
My sister and I spent a weekend in Paris France. She has deep memories of a moment of understanding between siblings. I remember the cheese and the hvac system of a museum.
But back to the hotness of last weekend:
I have different fetishes than most of the people that I play with. My visual fetish is more than about needing to take pictures. I need to create the perfect visuals, and the pictures are just trophies of that.
With the boys that bottom for me I have worked out an understanding about what makes the various people happy, and I follow through with that. And making others in the scene happy makes them more likely to come back for additional play. I fall into something close to a service top role, since what I take from the scene can be easily overlooked.
The things that stay in my memory are the things leading up to and relating to beautiful visuals.
I am willing to work for my fetishes.
In a recent scene, I scheduled and constructed and performed a two hour bondage and electro scene to slowly get a guy into position for the photo that I needed... After I got my photos the scene immediately transformed back to being about solidifying his feelings for the wind-down.
I have an intellectual understanding that this isn't how most tops construct their scenes, and I shrug and smile.
And then things happen that can't be ignored.
I wrote on my blog what mattered to me about the first half of the Jan2 scene with soundsFun, bndgKid, and SirInSF. It was a fantastic piece of bondage. (and i really did like my post about it)
The next morning I read bndgKid's writeup of the same Jan2 scene. They were completely different.
I think that in my mind and in my writings I focus on the what and the how. In his discussion I think that bndgKid focused on the why and the who. My initial reaction was to question whether we had actually been a part of the same scene.
The narratives differ in tone and focus. Talking to soundFun, his recollections are more in line with bndgKid's narrative.
And everybody agrees that it was a great scene. Everybody agrees about what events happened. But in my mind there lingers ambiguity beyond that. But we can relax knowing that everybody got what they were looking for.
