As a submissive there are three ways of shame reduction: solve the situation, or hide the situation, or embrace the situation.
We all have things that we are ashamed of. Sometimes hiding the problem can buy time for problems to solve themselves. Other times hiding the problem creates an emotional wound that will fester.
Embracing the situation is significantly about attitude. I call this "shoulders back, head up, and strut". In other areas of my life it is called "it's not a bug, it's a feature".
Embracing means more than just ignoring problems. It means celebrating the situation.
It means showing off what you desperately want to hide.
This is one reason why I talk to my family about BDSM.
During a recent refinance of my home an appraiser had to come to the house. The dungeon can't and shouldn't be hidden. So soundsFun and I spent an evening and morning getting the dungeon extra clean, and staging it as though preparing for a scene. soundsFun had an interesting conversation with the straight female appraiser about where she would find comps. The dungeon was so happy.
This was made a little more obvious when later the same weekend we had to empty the dungeon for a video project. The empty dungeon was so sad.
