A series of small insignificant choices and coincidences align to allow the unthinkable to happen.
When I was young, an unexpected reaction to a now discontinued athletes-foot medication caused a mild paranoia. The paranoia passed after I was taken off the medications, but left some high-strung tendencies.
There are places, such as computer security programming and motorcycle riding, where we are trained to look at the universe as a giant conspiracy trying to get us.
This light circumstantial paranoia fits well with systems of personal rules. A formulation that I have found useful comes from the cold war.
As guidelines go, this also works pretty well for topping bdsm scenes.
| Assume nothing. | Assumptions are what we are trying to avoid with negotiation. |
| Never go against your gut. | Gut feelings are the unconscious screaming for attention. During a negotiation this means deeper probing. During bondage this requires internal examination of why I am uncomfortable as soon as it's safe to do so. |
| Everyone is potentially under opposition control. | A bottom under influence of pain or endorphins may not be in a position to give honest feedback. |
| Don't look back; you are never completely alone. | If I am doing something either very right or very wrong, boys and the community will debate. |
| Go with the flow, blend in. | Don't break the scene. |
| Vary your pattern and stay within your cover. | We form default scenes and expect default reactions. It's easy to expect, and so imagine, scripted responses if I am myself giving scripted cues. |
| Lull them into a sense of complacency. | Surprise is a valuable tool. Surprise requires either planning and execution, or really good improvisational skills. |
| Don't harass the opposition. | I try not to cause unintentional pain. I try not to enter scenes where I am in competition with the other player (including take-down scenes). |
| Pick the time and place for action. | I try to make sure that my play happens when I'm fully awake and when I'm not wanting to be elsewhere. I prefer weekend afternoon and early evening play sessions for this reason. |
| Keep your options open. | An over negotiated scene boxes the top into a corner and doesn't allow improvisation if things don't go according to plan. |
But sometimes there is a natural conspiracy. This is a common theme in engineering disasters.
The common causes of engineering disasters are a combination of the following:
- design flaws (many of which are also the result of unethical practices)
- materials failures
- extreme conditions or environments
- human factors (including both 'ethical' failure and accidents) which generally break down as follows[1]:
Insufficient knowledge 36% Underestimation of influence 16% Ignorance, carelessness, negligence 14% Forgetfulness, error 13% Relying upon others without sufficient control 9% Objectively unknown situation 7% Imprecise definition of responsibilities 1% Choice of bad quality 1% Other 3% [1]M. Matousek and Schneider, J., (1976) Untersuchungen Zur Struktur des Zicherheitproblems bei Bauwerken, Institut für Baustatik und Konstruktion der ETH Zürich, Bericht No. 59, ETH.
Real debauchery requires planning. An understanding of the common mistakes and their mitigation is a small part of this planning.
